The Rude Hamptons - Tales of People Behaving Badly In Long Island’s Summer Playground

Saturday Aug 30. Labor Day Weekend.

I go into Java Nation like I’ve been doing pretty much every day. I know everyone that works there & has worked there. I have a thermos which grants me a small discount on a cup of coffee there.

Every day it’s $1.00, regardless of who’s working.

But today one of the owners (pretty obvious which one since the other one is cool as shit) told me $1.75. I actually had only brought four quarters with me, so I had to bring up the discrepancy.

The owner got mad with me about disputing the price & took my coffee out of my hand & tossed it into the sink, handed me back my empty thermos, & yelled GET OUT & pointed to the door.

I really wasn’t going to force the issue and was about to ask her if I can bring her the 75 cents next time, since I’m in there everyday but by that time she was already wasting my coffee down the sink.

My suggestion is f*ckin hire somebody so she don’t have to be behind the counter cuz that sh!t isn’t working.

- Devoted Java Nation Customer

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My wife and I head to a local restaurant tonight to enjoy a nice end of the summer dinner. In we go and we’re behind a lady and five of her small children. We’re probably talking under eleven years old.

Momma asks the hostess if their table is ready.

No table under her name, the hostess reads off all the parties of seven waiting. No luck.

“Well my husband put his name in and you said to come back in 10-15 minutes.”

“Oh yes now I remember, that was at 6:25, it’s 7:10, sorry we had to give your table away. I can put your name back in but it’s a 45 minute wait for a party of that size.”

“Bitch” says momma as she walks out with her family.

NICE

- The Editor

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A while back I got an email saying RheRudeHamptons editor loved my story about the idiot in Hess (the bottle opener she wanted to “borrow”) and offered me a bumper sticker.  Although I have seen these bumper stickers around, like la superica,etc.,

I never got mine.

Is that rude, or what?

- Martha

Yes it slipped through the cracks, but rest assured three bumper stickers are in the mail tomorrow. - The Editor

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TO ALL of my Hamptons fair-weather friends……

I just want you to know that I think it was so incredibly rude that most of those who were invited did not show up at my boyfriends birthday bash this past weekend. I am wondering why people think it’s socially acceptable to say “I’ll try/will do my best to make it” when invited to a party! This is what so many people said even though I called them 3 weeks in advance. OK, I know, it’s the Hamptons and on August weekends there are zillions of things to do. We all know you guys are keeping your options open so that if something better comes along, you will certainly attend that instead of our party, but optimistically we still planned for just about everyone to come. (Unless there is some formula or rule of thumb for Hamptons parties that we just don’t know about?????)
 
How about this next time:  upon being invited to a party, unless you give a firm and resolute YES, why not instead say “I just can’t make it”. Period.  And if nothing better comes along, you can then show up at our party - hey, surprise us - and be gracious and bring a bottle. This way we don’t get stuck with food for 60 when only 20 show up, and get stuck with the enormous cost of the food, booze and two helpers like we just were. Better to be short on food but have enough booze for these non-committal types, huh!
 
PS: For my next party - it’s a bag of chips and a jar of salsa. Expect nothing else but I will never skimp on the booze. Hey, we have enough liquor now for 3 more parties, I am trying to look at the bright side of things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Bathing In Liquor

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This story came in as a comment and is worth pointing out.

Thanks Obama Girl!

Yep and there’s the woman who blew through the ticket machine today, same spot, slams on the brakes, jumps out of the car, runs back to the ticket machine & yanks the ticket out…. out & out STEALS the ticket from the next woman who had just gone over the speed bump to produce the ticket. All the while, woman #1 is holding her hand out like “don’t hit me” and “wait”.

If she’d done it to me, we would have each had a a 1/2 ticket. I especially love the hand out, likes she’s directing traffic to stop while she puts the world on hold because she’s a dumbass. I CANNOT wait for Labor Day. Send these privileged idiots back home.

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I was on Newtown Lane turning into the parking by Waldbaums. I was in the turn lane and I looked over because everyone was going around something. When I looked over I saw a man standing in the middle of the right lane spraying ArmorAll on his tires. His car was parked on the side of the street.

I just started laughing because I have never seen something so ridiculous. People started beeping, but he kept spraying his tires.

- M

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I’m married to a local, who grew up in Springs. We live in Florida now and visit family about twice a year. Summers are exciting for me, torture for him. I drag him into the village all the time for some people watching.

One morning I decided to venture out on my own with my daughter in her stroller. We were hungry and walked up to the Golden Pear on Newtown. As I approached the door (and step) a man dressed in a white, all linen suit jumped in front of me, whipped open the door, and walked right in. Leaving the door to slam in my face.

Forgetting all decorum I yelled after him, “What the F***!??”

A local, had to be a local, noticed and shook his head and helped me through the door and even helped get the stroller up! I was so baffled…I felt like I was in another country…one where they ignore women!

- Jenny

I immediately thought of the Panama Jack guy when I read this story. - The Editor

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