The Rude Hamptons - Tales of People Behaving Badly In Long Island’s Summer Playground

My wife and I were walking to CittaNuova on Sunday night and spied a woman in an expense short dress and 4 inch stiletto heels carrying what seemed to be a bag of trash.

I bet my wife wife five dollars that she was going to throw that out in the trashcans at the Hampton Market Place aka Schmidt’s aka Chicken House.

Sure enough she dumps her small bag of trash and sashays back to her felony crib on Church Street.

- The Editor

PS - It is illegal to throw out your household garbage in town or private trash cans.

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So i’ve lived in East hampton all my life, and I have had my fair share of rude city people over my 15 years.

One day me and all of my friends were standing around in town and there was a party in one of the shops. my friend goes running by and accidentally kicks a glass of wine over. (that was sitting on the curb) I walk by politely and some city person looks over and practically yells how rude the locals were and that I should clean it up…first off we are outside. like what the hell you kidding me?

Also, what annoys the hell out of me, is that city people think that they own us. Sure they may have houses all over the world, but you are no better than us.

You come to OUR town, invade OUR space, respect the locals or you aren’t getting anything back.

- Local Girl

Local Girl - send me your address and I’ll send you a bumper sticker - The Editor

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Hi my name is Heather.

I was born and raised out here in East Hampton and I got to say it gets worse and worse every summer. I swear people just get even more mean every year. I hate it here but then again I love it, it’s where I grew up, it’s hard being away from home. The people that come out here in the summer think we owe them something like we have to kiss the ground they walk on and it makes me sick.

I’m a person just like the rest of you.

The “city people” and “Jersey people” and celebrities that come out here should respect us locals just like we respect them. I want things to be back to the way they use to be when my parents were growing up. I can’t stand all of these people. If only people knew what kids have to deal with out here and what locals have to deal with out here then maybe more people would have respect for us.

Kids can’t do ANYTHING out here.

It’s 50 dollars to go to the bowling ally it’s 10.50 for a movie. I don’t know I just figured I’d share that.

- Heather

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An older couple came into the restaurant looking for a table. The hostess, who is ~ 16, proceeds to tell them it will be 15 minutes until the table is ready.

Two minutes later, the man comes back and asks again for the table. The hostess again says 15 minutes.

At this point he pokes her in the forehead and tells her, “I don’t need to be told that by a 12 year old.”

Good thing I wasn’t there, he would have been arrested.

Editor: Another great story gathered during my travels.

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A group of customers came into an East Hampton restaurant which allows BYOW (bring your own wine). The patrons brought in two of their own bottles. The server explained that there is a corkage fee.

$28 per bottle.

They consumed their meal and the two bottles of their OWN wine.

Comes check time, they tell the server they don’t want to pay for two corkage fees.

Why?

They didn’t enjoy one of the bottles.

Gotta love it.

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No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And you beat him with a gun, you better kill him, because he’ll keep comin’ back and back until one of you is dead. - Ace Rothstein in Casino

A working man on a normal mission of delivering his truckload of wood chips had to drive down a shared driveway to the customer. Unfortunately there were three houses sharing this one driveway. At this point the driver wasn’t sure which was the right house. He stopped his truck to find out, during that time one of the homeowners came out and started banging on the truck.

The driver stepped out of his truck and asked what the problem was. The man didn’t like his truck on the shared driveway. It was tearing it up. The driver told him, “Look, I need to drop off these wood chips. Just doing my job.”

The irate man leaves, only to return with a baseball bat with which he started hitting the truck. The driver opened the door holding a tire iron and said, “You want to get rough?”

At this point the man backs off and calls the police. The police then told him wielding bats is not the way to resolve these kinds of situations.

The Editor - I was told this story in a bar over the weekend. What was Batman thinking? Is a yuppie desk worker really any match for a guy who hauls heavy materials and does manual work? Maybe he just finished watching Casino in his home theater.

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I live in East Hampton and for some reason people find my driveway a convenient place to stop and talk on their cell phone. This action blocks my egress.

The other day I was driving out to leave and sure enough a lady had pulled up to talk on her cell phone on my driveway.

I decided to walk over and ask this lady why she was parking there. I told her I was just curious as why my driveway is so popular, because many other people use it as well.

Much to my surprise she apologized profusely and I thought that would be the end of it.

About an hour later she returned with a bouquet of flowers. WOW!

She bought flowers to apologize. I was completely shocked and thought this would be a good story to submit showing that not everyone in the Hamptons is rude.

- J

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