Archive for the ‘Beach’ Category

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Royal Pains In My Butt

Monday, May 25th, 2009

Don’t bother coming out to the Hamptons for Mother’s day, the beach is closed. At least it was today for the USA Networks production Royal Pains.

And what a pain it is. At the End of Ocean Rd. in Bridgehampton I was turned away from an evening walk on the beach.

“WE ARE LOCKED DOWN!” a lady yelped at me with authority as I walked to towards the sand. Apparently this lingo should mean something to me. She saw the confused look on my face,

“Oh, you are not with us”

“ah, no maam.” I replied timidly.

“Well you can’t go there, THE BEACH IS CLOSED!”

Well I’ll be darned.

I didn’t think they could close the beach.

- TH

Posted in Beach, Bridgehampton | 5 Comments »

Ocean Cellphone Tip

Saturday, July 12th, 2008

I’m sitting on the beach in Montauk at Gurney’s Inn and along comes a woman on her cell phone. She proceeds to stand in front of me blocking my view of the ocean. I understand the beach is free and people can sit and go where they please.

What was so moronic about all of this is she starts yelling into her phone, “I can’t hear you, the waves are too loud!”

Here’s an idea, walk away from the ocean you citidiot!

- Just trying to relax

Posted in Beach, Montauk | No Comments »

Beware of Ocean Beach Sidlers

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

I was reading a story from Summer 07 called Down in Front! and it reminded me of when my family and I went to the ocean one day.

We always go early because there are usually at least 15 or 20 of our friends and family.

We go early because there are a lot of kids and we want to sit by the water.

We had all of our stuff out and since there are so many of us we try and take up as little room as possible.

At this point pretty much the whole ocean is empty and these people come and sit right next to us and then walk through all of our stuff and “like” bump into us.

Giving us dirty looks because we had little kids with us.

Why did they have to pick there they had the whole beach to pick from?

-E

The Editor - Sidler is a technical term from an episode of Seinfeld.

Posted in Beach | No Comments »

May they be bitten by an army of ants

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

My family and a large group of our friends made our 3rd annual trip to Montauk (I know, not exactly the Hamptons) and observed some less than considerate behavior.

We were staying at the Royal Atlantic and watched a group of roughly 15 people pick up hotel lounge chairs, and like a well orchestrated army of ants, transport them down to the beach on their backs, in their arms , etc.

As they clogged up the entrance to the beach they could be heard commenting, “We’re probably not supposed to bring these down to the beach but I saw some down here yesterday and they were back by the pool this morning.”

Later on, and as I expected, most of the group marched back up to the hotel and left their Great Wall of Chairs on the beach. While a few members of the group lingered on the beach nearby, they watched two staff members make about 15 trips back and forth to the beach in 90 degree plus heat and humidity (as told to me by one of the women in my group that happened to be on her balcony overlooking the beach).

- D

Posted in Beach, Montauk | No Comments »

Aggressive territorial behavior at Indian Wells

Sunday, July 15th, 2007

My wife and I were enjoying a day at Indian Wells last summer. After walking down to the left of the ABA beach club we sat down with about a ten foot buffer zone around our two chairs and umbrella. We weren’t on waterfront beach property about three rows back from the shoreline.

At someone point a few people showed up and sat down in our buffer zone. They were loud and broke out some beer from their cooler.

Next thing we know about ten other people show up. They proceeded to wedge themselves into the space around us.

At one point a woman sitting behind my wife started moving my wife’s beach chair with her feet. She called her out on it. To this she said, “Sorry.”

I headed down for a dunk in the ocean. I came back and some toolbox was now sitting on one of our towels proceeding to try and hit on my wife. She sent him packing, but he didn’t get off the towel. That changed when I returned.

- Surrounded by idiots

Posted in Amagansett, Beach | No Comments »

Once there were six now there are three

Saturday, July 7th, 2007

This is personal post from me, The Editor, regarding rude corporate behavior on the Amagansett beaches.

On June 2nd a Ralph Lauren cologne related entity setup for a photo shoot on an Amagansett beach. On this same beach there also happened to be 6 pairs of Piping Plovers nesting.

Piping Plovers are a protected species. There are fences around their nesting areas, fireworks are canceled and rescheduled to avoid bothering them. Ralph Lauren proceeded to setup extremely close to the birds’ nesting areas with a large tent structure.

Worse than that though, six Land Rovers were seen speeding up and down the beach. Newspaper articles quote that they were doing 50 miles per hour.

Irregardless of whether they really were going 50, the speed limit on the beaches is 15 miles per hour.

There was also a lack of required permits- no permit for the beach and no permit for filming. They did have a fire permit for the tent. (Source: East Hampton Star)

To top it off, there are now apparently only three pairs left.  The aggressive driving and tent structures scared off the other three.

Locals are upset, the Town Trustees want action taken against Ralph Lauren. The federal and state officials don’t seem to want to do ANYTHING.

Even if the state and federal governments don’t do a thing, Ralph Lauren should repent and give a sizable donation to one of the many nature preservation organizations on the East End.

If you want send an email to their customer service department and let them know your thoughts - CustomerAssistance@RalphLauren.com

- The Editor

Posted in Amagansett, Beach | 3 Comments »

Mommy what does bullcrap mean?

Wednesday, July 4th, 2007

A woman bellowing loud enough into her cell phone to be heard from the Cooper’s Beach overpriced hot dog stand all the way down to the lifeguard stand. This - the day before July 4th - today.

“No you SOB — I told you I was picking the kids up tonight for the birthday party! “That’s Bullcrap - yes she actually said bullcrap — not the saltier version of the word - maybe just trying to be polite with the hoards of children around her listening to her post-marital bloviating

She goes on and on on what a lowlife, bottom dwelling scum her ex husband is - screeching at the top of her lungs - actually bumps into and nearly knocks over someone else’s child on the way to the parking lot to continue her screech-fest (very considerate) ..and didn’t stop talking as she ignored the child she bumped.

Do people - especially Southamptonites - have a clue they can be overheard on their cell phone. Other overheard LOUD cell phone conversations on the beach — people discussing salaries - multimillion dollar confidential deals — talking trash about easily recognizable people. All thinking they are in the privacy of their home.

Astonished on Coopers….

Posted in Beach, Southampton | No Comments »

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