Archive for the ‘Parking’ Category

Keep Your Chalk Off My Wheels Dude!

Thursday, July 31st, 2008

I’m a TCO (traffic control officer) in the village of East Hampton and I live here year round. I probably have tons of stories i could post on here but one comes to mind right now. One day at work I was marking Newtown Ln.  (otherwise known as Newton Lane by the tourists) and I marked the tire of a Mercedes. The owner proceeded to come up to me and the conversations went like this….

Owner: “Did you have to do that? I just paid $20 for a car wash.”

Me: “Yes I did have to mark your tire”

Owner: “That’s ridiculous who told you to mark it?”

Me: “My supervisor”

Owner: “Well that’s BS”

At this point I just walked away because I couldn’t believe he yelled at me for marking his tire with removable chalk. Aren’t your tires made to get dirty?

- Dirty Harry

Bag of Weed and a Shiv - An Expecting Couple’s Weekend Essentials

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

I’ve been waiting for my chance to submit something to you…I see things all the time, but there are so many - and, really, so many so trifling - that I’ve developed a “Teflon” attitude towards ill-bred behavior. But the scenario I’m about to describe took the cake!

I was visiting my relatives in Remsenberg and had to drive into Westhampton Beach to go to Waldbaum’s. (Does that qualify as the Hamptons? It did by name only when I was growning up…While Remsenberg, on the other hand, was much more like old-time Southampton.)

As I was waiting outside over Memorial Day weekend, an Escalade SUV came into Waldbaum’s and carefully parked diagonally in 2 spots, the drivers describing his, what he considered valid, reason for doing - so as not to get a scratch on his car.

Shortly thereafter a 90+ yr. old man drove into the lot and because there was no other place to park and because he could squeeze his car in beside the SUV, parked there. While the elderly gentleman was in the Waldbaum’s, the Escalade owners (renters? of SUV and “summer share?”) came out and “what the F***! Can you believe someone F*ing parked right here?? Slash his F*ing tires!!”

The driver actually slashed the older man’s tire, and left. Luckily, there was an off duty cop there, watching everything, and called a dispatcher. The police helped the man change his tire and the police caught the tire slashers.

As it turned out, the “people” in the Escalade had a bag of pot in their possession and one of them kicked it under the police car when they were caught. A witness saw the person do it, and so they were arrested for possession and for tire slashing.

But wait, as if all that’s not bad enough, there’s more likely to be on the way.

The woman in the Escalade was pregnant!!

God help us all. Summer is definitely here!

- PL

The Editor - I wasn’t able to verify the story in the local paper - if anyone has a link to the article leave a comment. For more information on shivs - click here

Honk If You Care

Sunday, June 1st, 2008

I was trying for a parking spot at CVS to pick-up some medicine this afternoon. Waiting for a spot to open up, finally a SUV pulls out and as I go to pull in a Mercedes comes whipping around into the spot.

The person drove in through the parking lot exit!

Much easier to miss others waiting if you drive in the wrong way.

I honked a few times and they pulled back out. If I hadn’t made a scene they probably would have just kept the spot.

- RE

Men in black leave trash behind

Saturday, August 18th, 2007

The day Elie Tahari had their grand opening in East Hampton a silver car parked on Pantago Road (Main Street) near my residence. The occupants were dressed all in black.

Black shoes, black pants, black undershirts, and black dress shirts.

They came and went from their car all day long, even though it was one hour parking.

Right before I left for work, I noticed one of the MIB walking back from IGA with bags of groceries.

Upon returning later that night I noticed a box of trash left on the road right where their car used to be. The box was filled with empty Gatorade and beer cans.

I’m not sure if the MIB left the trash behind, but it would seem logical.

- Conspiracy Theorist

No parking spaces - use the curb

Monday, July 2nd, 2007

The strangest part about this story is that it happened in the off season - go figure.

My friends and I were enjoying pizza at Fierros in town, when some idiot pulls his Benz up on the sidewalk, thats right, the sidewalk alongside the exit lane to Reutershan lot. He walks in, as if parking on the sidewalk is totally fine. One of the locals, as well as the guys behind the counter start to explain nicely to this guy that he can’t park on the sidewalk, but he ignores them and pays for the pizza he had come to pick up.

A local guy (who was much bigger than the antagonist of this story) starts to get a little aggressive, giving the guy a little grief for his absurd act. The idiot tries to ignore him, then turns to leave and mutters “What are you gonna do about it?” We were all too dumbfounded to speak.

This shows were not safe from idiots like this, even in the off season. I hope he choked on his pizza.

-B

Hamptons Magazine Causes Parking Lot Traffic Jam

Sunday, July 1st, 2007

I was driving through the main parking lot behind Walbaums, etc, where painted white arrows clearly mark which direction you are supposed to be driving when heading down the parking lanes. I was carefully headed in the correct direction, when I needed to pass someone who was waiting for a spot. As I pulled around, someone was coming in the other direction, just at the beginning of the lane basically sitting on the arrow pointing towards the back of their car. I tried to tell him he needed to back up so traffic could move.

Instead, he made some gestures, then opened a Hamptons Magazine and sat their and read it while me, and everyone behind me, waited for the other car to pull into the space.

This delayed everyone, just so this guy could ‘win’ by driving in the wrong direction.

What a rude idiot!

-C

You can’t park here, bub

Friday, June 1st, 2007

The fact that the Village Board has decided to extend the two hour parking limit in the Reutershan lot is completely absurd. They village clearly does not listen to the voices of the people who work in the village, as demonstrated by a recent article in the East Hampton Star.
At the very least the Village should provide transportation between the Long Term lot and the village, ideally through the use of a multi-passenger golf cart which can be equipped with a top and sides to protect riders during inclement weather and which would be able to drive through the Herrick Park, making the trip must shorter than the previously under-used bus that had serviced the long term lot during the summer months only.

Clearly this is an attempt by the village to raise money through parking tickets as there is no logical reason for enforcing this two hour limit during the off season months.

Alternatively the Village should consider enforcing the parking time limit every day only from Memorial Day to Labor Day and then on Friday, Saturday and Sundays through the rest of the year with transportation provided during the times of bad weather and earlier sunsets.
- RM