The Rude Hamptons - Tales of People Behaving Badly In Long Island’s Summer Playground

I was driving with my daughter today to meet with our new primary care Dr in Southampton. We’re tooling along the back roads to try & save time & avoid traffic. We’re making great time for like the 1st half-hour. All of a sudden I see this white car with plastic garbage bags sticking out if it’s grille, come zooming up on our butts outta nowhere. The driver and car reminded me of something out of that Beastie Boys video that I can’t remember…Sabotage?

Well, we’re both watching the side mirrors because he just rides my ass thru all the turns even where there’s road construction going on. He would slow down enough to make the road people happy & then floor it right back to my back bumper. By this time, we’ve both seen “Jeepers Creepers”; and are thinking this is some crazed wacko…we don’t dare stop because he’s so close.

I wave him on past me so I could get rid of him. God, he seemed so determined to just get wherever the hell redneck crazy wackos hang out in the summer, but he’s wearing his Deliverance face & continues to stray over the yellow line & then back on my ass. Fine, follow me all the way to my Dr, but I’m gonna have to hurt you if you hit my car. What a jerk! I felt like Karen Silkwood, waiting to be bumped off the road.

It was more than a little unnerving till I related the story to my honey; he said he knew why we’re were being chased down….had to be the Obama ‘08 bumper sticker. How rude! GO OBAMA ‘08

- PB

- A simple way to avoid all of this is to cover your Obama sticker with one of our slick RudeHamptons bumper stickers.

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This is a message for all the non drivers that travel on Sunrise (or any other interstate or highway).   I would think people should know this but the left lane is intended for passing vehicles on the right.

At no point ever should anyone stay in the left hand lane.

After you pass someone you get back in the right hand lane. The right side of a vehicle is often considered the”blind spot” .

People shouldn’t be passing on the right because it’s not as safe as passing on the left.

If you are ever in the left hand lane and someone just passed you on the right.  Take a second; realize that you are the non driver I am referring to and MOVE OVER !!

If you in the left hand lane and you feel someone is tailgating you,  MOVE OVER to the right and realize that you indeed are also a non driver.

-SH

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My wife and I decided to head to CittaNuova for dinner Thursday night. We sat right near the hostess desk and heard an earful of good times. Most people would not be happy with this table, but we were able to sit quickly and listen to the ensuing fun.

The highlight of the evening was when two women came in and approached the hostess.

“How long for a table?”

Hostess replies nicely, “30-35 minutes.”

“Uh, well is there any place else to eat in town?”

Hostess replies nicely, “Well you can walk around, there’s Sam’s and Rowdy Hall.”

“What kind of restaurants are those?”

Hostess again replies nicely as she is busy with real customers, “Italian and American.”

Off they go, but right behind them is a couple. He puts their name on the list and is nice to the hostess.

About 10 minutes later the dynamic duo shows back up and asks to put their name on the list. “I’m really hungry.”

Hostess, who at this point should tell them they’ve run out of food, nicely replies, “Sorry, but I can’t seat people based on their hunger levels.”

They then camped themselves at the gelato case and grabbed a waiter asking if they could have some bread. While this occurred the nice couple who had been behind them on their first visit were promptly seated.

- The Editor

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Walking down main street in East Hampton (don’t ask me why I was dumb enough to even be near the village after Memorial Day.)

I hear honking and then “Hey, HEY!”. I turn around and see a BMW, with it’s occupants waving at me like they’re on fire. I go over to see the emergency and get “What are you, deaf? How do we get to the Maidstone Club?”

After a second of shock I recovered and sent them to Maidstone Park, as far into Springs as possible. They whipped an illegal U Turn and off to Springs they went.

If you ask a local for directions and actually want to get there, ask them nicely.

- L

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As usual, Hess is busy so I navigate towards an end pump and pull up behind someone. There is a person in front of me and next to me is a man filling up his red container with gas.

I figure, whoever gets done first, I’ll either pull forward or back up.

The man next to me is done filling up his container so I begin to back up only to realize that there is quite a traffic jam so I keep my car in reverse and stay put. A man pulls up next to me and is eyeing my pump. I still don’t back up because he’s relatively close to my car and I don’t want to hit anything.

The next thing I know, the man is backing up to my bumper. There’s no way he could even be able to get gas, it was obviously my spot, he had no room.

So, now there are three cars lined up at two pumps.

We then begin a battle of yelling at each other through our rear view mirrors. “I’M USING IT! I WAS HERE FIRST!” but does he move, no. He just throws his hand out the window and waving it all around. I eventually got out of the car to start filling up and he decided it was time to find another spot.

Because I look young, people try to push me around. It’s always “me first” around here. I certainly don’t want to get in an accident at a gas station and blow anything up but I also waited my time and looked around.

- EG

The Editor - You can find  Hamptons Gas Prices on TheRudeHamptons -Powered by GasBuddy.com

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I was reading a story from Summer 07 called Down in Front! and it reminded me of when my family and I went to the ocean one day.

We always go early because there are usually at least 15 or 20 of our friends and family.

We go early because there are a lot of kids and we want to sit by the water.

We had all of our stuff out and since there are so many of us we try and take up as little room as possible.

At this point pretty much the whole ocean is empty and these people come and sit right next to us and then walk through all of our stuff and “like” bump into us.

Giving us dirty looks because we had little kids with us.

Why did they have to pick there they had the whole beach to pick from?

-E

The Editor - Sidler is a technical term from an episode of Seinfeld.

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I’ve been waiting for my chance to submit something to you…I see things all the time, but there are so many - and, really, so many so trifling - that I’ve developed a “Teflon” attitude towards ill-bred behavior. But the scenario I’m about to describe took the cake!

I was visiting my relatives in Remsenberg and had to drive into Westhampton Beach to go to Waldbaum’s. (Does that qualify as the Hamptons? It did by name only when I was growning up…While Remsenberg, on the other hand, was much more like old-time Southampton.)

As I was waiting outside over Memorial Day weekend, an Escalade SUV came into Waldbaum’s and carefully parked diagonally in 2 spots, the drivers describing his, what he considered valid, reason for doing - so as not to get a scratch on his car.

Shortly thereafter a 90+ yr. old man drove into the lot and because there was no other place to park and because he could squeeze his car in beside the SUV, parked there. While the elderly gentleman was in the Waldbaum’s, the Escalade owners (renters? of SUV and “summer share?”) came out and “what the F***! Can you believe someone F*ing parked right here?? Slash his F*ing tires!!”

The driver actually slashed the older man’s tire, and left. Luckily, there was an off duty cop there, watching everything, and called a dispatcher. The police helped the man change his tire and the police caught the tire slashers.

As it turned out, the “people” in the Escalade had a bag of pot in their possession and one of them kicked it under the police car when they were caught. A witness saw the person do it, and so they were arrested for possession and for tire slashing.

But wait, as if all that’s not bad enough, there’s more likely to be on the way.

The woman in the Escalade was pregnant!!

God help us all. Summer is definitely here!

- PL

The Editor - I wasn’t able to verify the story in the local paper - if anyone has a link to the article leave a comment. For more information on shivs - click here

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