The Rude Hamptons - Tales of People Behaving Badly In Long Island’s Summer Playground

I was reading a story from Summer 07 called Down in Front! and it reminded me of when my family and I went to the ocean one day.

We always go early because there are usually at least 15 or 20 of our friends and family.

We go early because there are a lot of kids and we want to sit by the water.

We had all of our stuff out and since there are so many of us we try and take up as little room as possible.

At this point pretty much the whole ocean is empty and these people come and sit right next to us and then walk through all of our stuff and “like” bump into us.

Giving us dirty looks because we had little kids with us.

Why did they have to pick there they had the whole beach to pick from?

-E

The Editor - Sidler is a technical term from an episode of Seinfeld.

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I’ve been waiting for my chance to submit something to you…I see things all the time, but there are so many - and, really, so many so trifling - that I’ve developed a “Teflon” attitude towards ill-bred behavior. But the scenario I’m about to describe took the cake!

I was visiting my relatives in Remsenberg and had to drive into Westhampton Beach to go to Waldbaum’s. (Does that qualify as the Hamptons? It did by name only when I was growning up…While Remsenberg, on the other hand, was much more like old-time Southampton.)

As I was waiting outside over Memorial Day weekend, an Escalade SUV came into Waldbaum’s and carefully parked diagonally in 2 spots, the drivers describing his, what he considered valid, reason for doing - so as not to get a scratch on his car.

Shortly thereafter a 90+ yr. old man drove into the lot and because there was no other place to park and because he could squeeze his car in beside the SUV, parked there. While the elderly gentleman was in the Waldbaum’s, the Escalade owners (renters? of SUV and “summer share?”) came out and “what the F***! Can you believe someone F*ing parked right here?? Slash his F*ing tires!!”

The driver actually slashed the older man’s tire, and left. Luckily, there was an off duty cop there, watching everything, and called a dispatcher. The police helped the man change his tire and the police caught the tire slashers.

As it turned out, the “people” in the Escalade had a bag of pot in their possession and one of them kicked it under the police car when they were caught. A witness saw the person do it, and so they were arrested for possession and for tire slashing.

But wait, as if all that’s not bad enough, there’s more likely to be on the way.

The woman in the Escalade was pregnant!!

God help us all. Summer is definitely here!

- PL

The Editor - I wasn’t able to verify the story in the local paper - if anyone has a link to the article leave a comment. For more information on shivs - click here

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I was trying for a parking spot at CVS to pick-up some medicine this afternoon. Waiting for a spot to open up, finally a SUV pulls out and as I go to pull in a Mercedes comes whipping around into the spot.

The person drove in through the parking lot exit!

Much easier to miss others waiting if you drive in the wrong way.

I honked a few times and they pulled back out. If I hadn’t made a scene they probably would have just kept the spot.

- RE

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My new shipment of bumper stickers came in so now you can get your own. It’s really easy.

1. Submit a rude story with a postal address and I’ll send you two. An extra for a friend.

2. Stop by one of my specially designated locations and ask for one.

This week stop by Sams in East Hampton. Be sure to ask for Graham and order a pizza to go.

The Editor

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My wife and I were walking to CittaNuova on Sunday night and spied a woman in an expense short dress and 4 inch stiletto heels carrying what seemed to be a bag of trash.

I bet my wife wife five dollars that she was going to throw that out in the trashcans at the Hampton Market Place aka Schmidt’s aka Chicken House.

Sure enough she dumps her small bag of trash and sashays back to her felony crib on Church Street.

- The Editor

PS - It is illegal to throw out your household garbage in town or private trash cans.

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I moved here full-time in January after having worked in Southampton Village last summer.

So I am not a native, but I am a year-round local these days.

So, I’m going to complain like a local.

On the way to the beach today, the Sunday before Memorial Day, I was driving straight north on Springville Road in Hampton Bays when someone trying to cut me off gives me a nasty look.

I had the right of way, this car full of girls decides she was going to make a left right in front of me. When she realized I wasn’t stopping to let her go, she stopped half way through her turn, creating an awkward and dangerous traffic situation.

If I did stop to let her go, I probably would have been rear-ended, because it’s not like I was at a stop sign or traffic light.

The audacity that she could give me such a disgusted look when she’s the one not following traffic laws and risking an accident really pissed me off. And I have a feeling that this will be my first of many incidents with weekenders this summer. Hopefully, none of them end in a collision.

-HB Guy

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I am a local from Water Mill but now go to school in the city. I go to Citarella when I’m home and if any of the city people try to cut me I tell them to go fu*k themselves. When I used to live out there full time and work the summer jobs I would take shit like a slave, you locals need to stop bitching and step it up.

All the people who come out there are p*ssies they aren’t going to fight you-you just need to let them know.

Cromers is the worst because everyone has a hard time figuring out the rocket science that is line formation- and I always see locals getting pushed around in there then crying about it outside. If you continue to let them keeping cutting you, guess what they are going to just keep cutting they don’t give a sh!t.

-Local

Local - send me your address and I’ll send you a bumper sticker - The Editor

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